


Sun and Shadows

by Toshi_Nama



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Flashbacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 14:49:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20819114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toshi_Nama/pseuds/Toshi_Nama
Summary: Sometimes you lose what you love.  Sometimes you lose yourself.  The finding...the  finding can make the darkness brighten.





	Sun and Shadows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Estelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estelle/gifts), [Rhovanel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhovanel/gifts).

It burned. She shifted, and moaned.

“It’s alright, Ebony. You’re safe.”

_ “It’s alright, Ebony.” Anora came back, still bloody, and hugged her. The wolf was...well, it wasn’t. “You’re safe.” She could feel the other girl’s body shaking in the aftermath. It was supposed to be a simple hunting trip, a small rebellion in the forests outside Highever - until her bowstring snapped, and the wolf kept coming, its limp not slowing it down enough… _

_ They were fifteen. She tasted like honeysuckle, not columbines, no matter what she used in her hair. Adrenaline, but it was something more. It had been something more for the last two years, even if neither girl admitted it. _

_ Sweet. It was sweet, as the summer sun poured down like honey in Anora’s golden hair, so different than her own dark locks. _

_ “We shouldn’t,” Anora said. “I’m betrothed.” _

_ “I don’t care. Do you love him?” _

_ Her eyes shifted to the pines, then to the sword still bloody in her hand. “It doesn’t matter. He’s nice enough, and we’re betrothed. Daddy and Maric have been friends forever. He says it’s the only thing keeping the king going.” _

_ “It should matter! What you want should always matter!” _

_ Anora sighed. “It’s not that simple, Ebony. Daddy’s the Hero of River Dane, and yours is Teyrn of Highever.” _

“Shh…” Cool liquid brushed her forehead, reminding her that she _ wasn’t _ fifteen. She hurt too much to be fifteen.

**

“Is she getting any better?” A light tenor voice danced over her head, despite the edge of worry. “She should be better.”

A sigh. “She’ll get better in her own time. She’s always been strong.”

_ How strong had she been? Strong enough to go to the wedding, smiling, and stand next to her ‘best friend.’ Twenty, and the feelings had never faded. Longing didn’t lessen over the years. She’d smiled until her mouth ached as much as her heart, knowing it mattered to Anora, to her parents...to the King. _

_ Cailan was nice enough. Anora smiled, and their kiss was sweet. _

_ The kisses _ she _ got after were anything but, as she pinned her new Princess Consort against the tapestried wall. The scene of a hunt - it was Ebony who took the prize, demanding everything Anora wanted to give. Lines scored her back as Anora gasped, her lips kiss-swollen. _

_ “I love you, Anora.” _

_ This time, she didn’t answer. Instead, she pressed her face against Ebony’s neck, her bridal coronet crushing into her cheek. Asteria and roses - but that wasn’t Anora. _

_ “I should go.” _

A gentle hand rubbed something cool into the lines on her back, but they ran crossways rather than straight. “What did they do to you in Fort Drakon? What did you risk for me?”

The question wasn’t for her.

“Come back to me, Ebony.”

_ “Come back to me.” _

_ She kept walking, determined. Anora had said she should go? Well, then she would, too. _

_ “Please, Ebony! Please…” _

_ She’d never been able to resist, not really. One more time, they rushed into each other’s arms. It was just a hug - something the courtiers couldn’t gossip about. _

_ The whisper in her ear shocked her. “I told Cailan. He doesn’t mind. I couldn’t bear it without you, Ebony...please. Promise you still love me.” _

_ All the passion that never showed past Anora’s cool, well-trained voice and sharp intelligence was hissed, syllable by syllable, into her ear. She shivered. But if Cailan didn’t mind - then who would? It was fine. _

_ “I love you until the sun falls from the sky. You know that.” _

_ The sigh held everything. “I love you too.” _

_ ** _

“I love you, Ebony. Until the sun falls from the sky. You promised me once. You have to get better.”

The voice was wrong, though. It was smooth, calm...the shakes were something only a woman who’d heard every variation in the other’s voice would hear. 

Until the sun…

The sun…

_ Everything fell apart. Her home was shattered, soaked in her family’s blood. Broken, she’d run...run straight into war, without even Fergus to be seen...and he’d looked at her and promised it would be ‘dealt with.’ _

_ She’d never liked him, ‘Hero’ or no, Anora’s father or no. It wasn’t that he was cruel, but he was calculating. It was Loghain who’d taught Anora how to think past desire, Loghain who pushed ‘duty’ over heart. _

_ She still hadn’t expected the rest. _

_ The sun fell. _

_ And the kingdom fell with it. _

_ Sunlight rippling along golden locks vanished under the whispers of a mad god and the heartbreak of how it had happened. Execution orders. Lies. Her family’s killer, given her home. _

A moan.

Where was it? She could hear Urthemiel, like a waterlogged wail in her mind, but it kept wavering in and out of awareness.

“All...darkness now.”

A voice answered, steel-and-silk. “No. There’s sunlight still. You’ve saved me - you’ve saved everything. You did it.”

Lips brushed her temple and sweat-soaked hair.

“You’ll be better, the healers say so. Everything can wait for that, Ebony.”

_ I love you. _

**

When she finally peeled herself out of the bed, Ebony ignored the pain when she breathed, ignored the fact she’d been sleeping on her stomach...ignored the lines of agony as her shirt brushed her back, ignored the mirror when it wavered between Warden and Cousland blue.

Eamon’s Denerim estate...she’d gone to parties here, in another life. She forgot them, the laughter and wine too much to consider. That was all behind her.

_ ‘A Cousland never forgets their duty.’ _

“I won’t forget, Papa,” she whispered as Seahawk came up against her side, giving her a forty-stone wardog to lean on. She had something left.

The scent of columbine and honeysuckle…

Her feet followed her nose rather than her still-fuzzy head, down a different hall. Ebony didn’t knock; who would stop her?

The occupant didn’t turn, still braiding the ends of her golden hair, sitting in front of a dressing table. Cosmetics in their little pots decorated the top, but the face above them had never needed anything. 

Her heart stopped, then started again. “You’re safe.”

Anora’s head snapped around and the hair fell, forgotten. “Ebony,” she breathed. “You’re…”

Her once-carefree chuckle was rusty now. Too much had happened, and the shininess was long lost. “I’m stubborn, Anora. You know that. Howe’s...dead.”

Dead.

The tears fell. “So is Papa, and Mother, and...and…Cailan, and...”

Her back shrieked, but it didn’t matter as arms wrapped around her. “Shh...shhh, love.” Anora had always been strong. “We’re together. We can solve anything together.”

For the first time since her world shattered, the tears felt clean.

If anyone could, it was Anora.

“No, love,” her soft chuckle answered. “I wouldn’t have been half the queen I’ve been without you. I couldn’t hold Ferelden together without you - I was so frightened. Everything…”

Did it matter who’s tears she tasted on Anora’s lips? It didn’t even matter that Seahawk whined, standing on guard next to them. Sunlight cracked the darkness. 

“Together,” Ebony murmured. She sighed and shifted just enough to touch forehead and nose against Anora’s - something familiar and desperately needed after so long. It centered her fever-soaked mind in the present, rather than the delerium she’d woken from. “Somehow.”


End file.
